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Knockin' Em Dead
I realize there is nothing inherently funny about death or dying.
Is there? What got me thinking about this was a story in "Odd
News" last week. The story wasn't funny but the headline was. It
read something like, "Severed Arm Found in Swamp...Alligator Suspected". Ya think?
Frontal lobe headlines notwithstanding, humans frequently laugh at the topic. Maybe it's nervous energy or "whistling past the graveyard" mentality. Speaking of which, some of our best examples of "laughing at death" occur in cemeteries. Many of these I've seen myself, others were found after a brief search on the internet.
In arguably the most famous cemetery in the U.S., a grave in Tombstone's Boot Hill offers this tidbit:
"Here lies Lester Moore,
Four slugs from a .44
No less, no more."
A nearby grave isn't as funny as it is plaintive and speaks to the hasty citizens of Tombstone, circa 1878:
"Here lies Jake.
Hung by mistake."
Of course we have no exclusivity when it comes to headstone humor.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in Nova Scotia a wry relative no doubt scribbled this out for the stone cutter:
"Here lies Ezekial Aikle ~ Age 102 ~ The Good Die Young"
Bad puns also find their way into the medium. Nine years before this country gained independence from England, a London lady shed this mortal coil and her "friends" thought this would make a good sendoff:
"Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767"
An embittered clerk in Ribbesford, England cemetery had this inscribed on the grave of his "beloved" Anna:
"Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna."
Bad puns eventually found there way to our shores however as evidenced in this New Mexico cemetery:
"Here lies Johnny Yeast
Pardon me for not rising."
Some epitaphs tell the sad tale of the departed's circumstances of demise. In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake."
New Englander's reputation for closed-mouth eccentricity was never better represented than in this Stowe, Vermont memorial:
"I was somebody. Who,is no business Of yours"
Closer to home and on Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, VA:
"She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her."
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood much:
"In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other."
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a
consumer tip:
"Here lies Ellen Shannon.
Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
This resounding Oops! is on the grave of Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
"Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was."
And finally, in a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
"Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go."
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